Another day, another disappointment

I walked into this pub and sat down at the bar. I was the only visitor. For some reason I can’t just stand the taste and smell of beer at this time, so I ordered a rum and coke. After she set down my drink, she picked up a magazine and started reading. An article about an uninhibited look into sexual lives. Like I know what that was. I, the one person on this planet that is deprived from sex for many years. I was sitting there. Perplex staring at the article, and then looking up staring at her. Why would she read that? And why in public? And why in front of me?

I often thought she was beautiful. Beautiful brown hair with a red glow over it. Not just plain skin over bone but not overweight, and very well build shoulders. Nothing lust, just plain beauty. But now all has changed, forever. She became a different person. A person that is no more or less than an animal. No intelligence involved. Only reading about and thinking about the drive for lust and sex.

Upset I finished my drink, and put a few dollars on the bar to pay for the drink. I left without saying a word, heading home. When I got there, I crawled in bed, covered up my head, leaving this awful world behind. Tomorrow will be a better day…


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